Me, You And Baby Makes Three!
Pammy's Blog
July 15, 2008 | By Pamela Stitch | © zimbabwemetro.com ⋅
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I have to admit that my biological clock hasn’t started ticking yet. I really do not know when it will but not soon o…biko!! Anyways sha, the other day I watched a great Nolly Wood movie called, “behind closed doors” featuring RMD, Stella Damascus and Desmond Elliot. As some people know, I am a fan of RMD’s ACTING but not his physique. Sorry, I do not believe that a man should have a big butt!
Oh, but I digress.. anyways, the premise of the movie is the title of this post. A man finds out that he has low sperm count and as such he can’t get any woman pregnant, Naija + African male pride (alias stupidity -I know a couple of men will get me for this..lol!) wouldn’t allow him to accept an adopted baby in his home. Instead, he colludes with his sick brother (who has a short time to live and who has a major crush on his wife) to get his wife pregnant via sexual relations. What happens next? You have to see the movie - it was well acted and the end … just simply great.
But, it begs the question - how open will you be to adopting a child if you find out that you or your significant other do not have the ability to procreate? This question is particularly for men. We know for many women, their choice will be to remain childless and take the secret of the man’s impotence to the grave while bearing insults from his family members and friends. Of course, if the reverse is the case - many African men have no problem going for wife number two, three or twenty.
This movie really did give me something to think about as I find myself asking if I will be open to adopting, artificial inseminating, buying a woman’s ovaries or will I keep on praying and hoping, if such a scenario should occur in my home?
Thought for the day:
Why are many Africans wary of adopting babies from motherless babies home?
leave him off course. if he found out i was unable to give birth, no doubt he would have been out there within a second.so why i should i have to suffer for his predicament. unless………he is rich lol. just jokin
we must be careful about mixing cultures just because of our being in foreign lands.as africans we believe in the spirituality of a person and we relate not by documents exchanged but by the family spirit that tie us and the bloodline that makes us who we are.
as africans we believe a person is not just the handsome or ugly we dress and send to school.he is the person we have who also is enjoyed by those who watch over us all.this of cause is belief and like all beliefs can be utter bull**** but all the same we believe so.
what this means in the end is one can not just adopt simply like that.it is a process which should include a wider clan network and have the child raised as intended.the easy routes are kupiwa muramu or kupoya danga .if she can adopt a total stranger to both of us why should she not accept at least one from a different woman but at least related to me (one of us)dont try to reverse this and say suppose sshe does the same.if she does the same then she can as well go because in our culture vana ndeveimbarume and the resultant child belongs wherever his father be.