Is This Message Still Relevant?
Lifestyle
September 29, 2008 | By Pamela Stitch | © zimbabwemetro.com ⋅
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I remember growing up with the fears of being labeled a bad girl. What will happen if I gave it up before the day? The church , school, parents, everywhere you went - the fears remained the same. But, it seems that in all these, men were often excluded. It was accepted that men will try it, get it, taste it before they settle down with a person. I remember having a discussion with some of my girls and we were talking about our one’s. All the girls mentioned that they wanted to be with someone with experience and when I mentioned that, “since I was waiting - I expect him to be a virgin too” - They laughed. One of my girls and I quote stated, “I am not a practice board, he should know what he is doing before he gets on my body”. So it brings me to the crux of the matter - isn’t that a double standard? Why am I expected to wait, if he can’t wait? Why am I expected to pick up the mask and pretensions of a good girl - if I don’t want to? The fact is, sex happens, the issue is, “can you handle the repercussions if it doesn’t go the way you want?”.
Sometimes, I feel society places so much guilt and punishment on a woman for something natural that she does while it leaves the men scot free to do whatever they want to and yet they still get rewarded. If we are going to preach the abstinence message, it should be preached to both genders but if we are going to be REALISTIC, we should preach the protection message and preach the message that people should be psychologically and physically ready before they partake.
I remember having a discussion with a good friend of mine who is from Zim and as most people know I am very open when it comes to discussing sexuality. We were talking about the virginity issue and he looked at me and asked, “don’t you regret that you aren’t a virgin?”. My answer was and has always been,”NO!, I did what I did when I was old enough and I felt ready enough to do what I did and I made sure that it was with someone that I loved and respected and that I still RESPECT till this day”. I have never regretted that decision. More women, should be taught that - ensure that you give it to someone that even in a million year, you can say, yes, it was worth it and I am glad he did it not the other dudu head!
So the question really is, “is the abstinence message still relevant in this day and age?”
******* Guys, can we discuss this topic as adults.
Pammy mubvunzo wangu kwauri ndewekuti, ‘are you still with the guy you ‘respect even to this day”. Isn’t there a possibility that he has found the ‘respect’ of a whole load of other girls. You see such guys prey on innocent girls and if they are in the trade long enough they will be perfectly experienced at gaining your confidence and respect. once they get between your legs they go after their next prey. I dont know where you come from but in my culture no matter how much a girl tries to justify it she is considered of loose morals if she has slept with 10 guys compared to a guy who has slept with the same number. Its basic reasoning coz girls have to ascent to sex or else its rape. so for a guy to get 10 girls to give in is a form of achievement but for a girl to agree to 10 guys it shows how loose she is.if a girl is poud of her own body i dont see why she should be sleeping around all the time. remember men by nature get aroused by mere sight of a beautiful girl or good loking legs or breasts and do not even need to be in love with the girl to sleep with her but i understand women need emotional attachement so how do you explain women who get emotionally attached to every guy who makes amove.
From a Christian perspective the Bible clearly spells out that sex before marriage is fornication. It does not matter whether is a boy or girl. no sex before marriage period.
HEY,PAMELA YOU ARE SOUNDING UNBELIEVABLY LIBERATED.LET ME TRY AND REMIND YOU.FIRST ITS NOT A PROBLEM BEING SHAGED.ANYONE CAN BE SHAGGED BUT THE MAIN POINT IS A WOMAN WHO HAS NEVER BEEN SHAGGED AND ONE WHO HAS ARE TWO DIFERENT WOMEN.THE SHAGGED ONE WILL TRY AND LIE TO SAY SHE BROKE HER VIRGINITY PLAYING SPORT BUT THE FACT REMAINS ,SHE WAS GIVEN IT.IT ALSO DEPENDS ON WHEN IT HAPPENED AS IN HOW OLD YOU WERE.OF COURSE THE GUY YOU SAY SHAGGED YOU FIRST YOU HAVE JUST CONFIRMED IF HE WANTED YOU ,YOU WOULD SURELY GIVE HIM AGAIN I BET.THAT IS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD,BUT DEPENDS ON WHETHER YOU NOW HAVE SOMEONE ELSE.VIRGINITY DEPENDING ON THE WOMAN IS SOME VALUABLE THING.IT IS THE PRIDE A WOMAN DERIVES FROM HER MORALITY.HOW SHE LOSES IT RANGES FROM BEING A LASTING JOY TO BEING A MISERABLE TRAGEDY FOR OTHERS.ITS JUST LIKE FOR MEN,YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE PRIDE IN HAVING HAD MY FIRST SHAG WITH SOME STUPID MARRIED GIRL BEHIND THE DARKNESS ON THE FOOT BRIDGE OF BULAWAYO STATION?ITS NOT QUITE MACHO BUT ITS A FACT.SAME APPLIES ONE WHO LOST HER VIRGINITY STUPIDLY WILL NOT BE PROUD OF IT AND SOME WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF THEY LOST IT TO A MORONE BECAUSE THEY HAVE BECOME SO MORALLY DRY THAT IT MATTERS NOT.ITS NOT A QUESTION OF IF I AM A VIRGIN HE MUST BE A VIRGIN OR VICE VERSA.IT RATHER SHOULD BE I AM A VIRGIN AND I DESERVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME AND RESPECTS ME AND IS PROBABLY CERTAIN TO MARRY ME.IF YOU GIVE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU JUST WANT TO GET IT AWAY AND DONE WITH THEN THATS WHAT HAPPENS YOU REGRET FOREVER.I FEEL SORRY TUMAGERO TWATAKABVIRO BVARURA BVARURA OVER THE YEARS.ITS PROBABLY NOT AN ISSUE BUT WHY NOT JUST BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR VIRGINITY.FOR WHAT PURPOSE ANYWHERE TIPEYI TIIRAKASHE ISU
Varume nyaya yatangwa na Pammy inonetsa. Kan uchida kuwana mukadzi mhandara uchakwira ani manje before marriage?Kuno kudiaspora kwatiri hakuna mhandara, period. hameno kana tikadzokera kumusha. But I will b e very happy to marry a virgin though the chance are next to none.ini pachangu ndakaboora mhandara dzakawanda dzaifunga kuti ndinodzida. Vamwe vacho vakatoroorwa asi ndinombota ndichirova neseri.So I will not regret marrying an ex-virgin. But ukanyepa kuti wakazo gara 180 kumasports wa****……
You seem to have your mind already made up by the way you write. Whatever we say will not sway you. This again is either a sign of true liberal views of feelings of justification on a subject that provokes a lot of negative emotions if you lost yours. This is a question of values and again people have different views on those.
Again society is always changing, so can we count on it to guide us? Homosexuality for example was once frowned upon, now it is being hailed.In some cultures female circumcision was the norm and now it is being outlawed. So you find society changing the rules as awareness changes.
THAT IS WHY GOD PUT HIS WORD IN WRITING SO THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS HIS TRUTH SHALL ALWAYS STAND.
I am not condeming anyone who has a different view or live their lives the way they want to because that too is BIBLICAL God does not foce people to do his will. He created us in his image so we have free will to choose want we want. The very last verse in the bible talks about this.
KANA MUKADA KUROORANA MURI VAKADZI MOGA. ITS OKAY BUT MWARI HAA CHINJE PFUNGWA DZAKE BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ALL AGREE THAT IT IS RIGHT.
TYPO ERROR ON LINE 2………….. I MEANT TO SAY true liberal views OR Feelings of ……………
Inyaya yaka oma because people are rather too judgemental on it.
somebody asked me if
I would like to marry a non virgin since I was a christian, My response was ” AM I A VIRGIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?”
But now I too have changed my views. I have come to understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes and that true love does not look at faults.
having said that though. there is a difference between someone who is hell bent on doing something because they think it is either trendy, or right, or simply because they can, and someone who made a mistake and has moved on.
If you are talking about marriage, it is important to make sure that you share the same values and that you see eye to eye on some of these HOT ISSUES.
this is kind of similar to the issue that pammy once brought up about how many partners are acceptable for a single woman to sleep with.
I dont think any african men expects to marry a vigin these days. in fact, i dont know anyone within my age-group who married a virgin (late 30s). consider that men are getting sexual “experience” by sleeping with women so it follows that if the guys are having sex then the women must be having sex as well.
there are a few women who i have met who have decided to become celibate until they get married. this does not mean that they have not previously tasted of the forbidden fruit. they simply decided that it would be better if they stopped having sex and hold out until they get married. there seems to be a drive towards being a born-again virgin - ie reverting back to abstinence after having had ones fill of sex.
so, i really don’t think anyone stills preaches virginity in the original sense. its more about abstaining from sex so that ones judgement is not clouded during the process of finding a spouse.
i think it is irresponsible to encourage people, male or female to indulge in sexual activities just because it is natural. we teach our children to wait until they are married, we also teach them that in the event that they end up having sex, then they should ensure they are protected against diseases that are transmitted this way. we know that even with these teachings, some follow them, some, dont, some still try but fail. but for those who dont, there are a lot of pressures bearing on them, they need everyone’s understanding so that they realise that even if they have failed to wait, there is still a chance to get it right or do things the right way, but to give them a licence to wantonly engage in “natural”sexual activities is quite frankly, being irresponsible.
Pammy - “is the abstinence message still relevant in this day and age?”
Abstinence, yes! Is still relevant and these are the reasons why?
1. Most men we lack trust and do not want to merry a former neighborhood whore. So virginity on my women will reinforce the insecurities ingrained in us. There is nothing special to a man than marrying a virgin that you walk with in our neighborhood without being discussed being your back. We do not need that nonsense and we just do not tolerate it.
2. As Zimbabweans, we are coming from a culture that say a girl should be married a virgin so that:
• Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value
• She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life
• She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come
• She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue
3. Being a virgin has been found to be the best ingredient for long and everlasting marriages because there is a lot of trusting and honesty involved.
On the other hand, there are also many women who were duped by men to open legs in the name of love, yet were later abandoned, let’s marry them the way they are please, have mercy with the weak hearted. (Ana Amai Muponesi)
LOL…I bet out of all the men screaming …repent oh ye Pammy, many weren’t virgins when they got married and a couple of the unmarried ones are probably not virgins still.
I believe in a more realistic message where abstinence is just one of the numerous messages available.
For those saying that it is irresponsible of me to write this post, please, I will quote from the above text in which I said, “it should be preached to both genders but if we are going to be REALISTIC, we should preach the protection message and preach the message that people should be psychologically and physically ready before they partake”
Parks, do you have scientific evidence to back up your claim that virginity is the best ingredient to long lasting marrigaes? That is a wild claim me thinks. You’re are trying to tell us that to have trust in a marriage one must be a virgin? That’s nonsense mate, trust is not just about sex.
I’m not against abstinence, it’s a personal issue. I however have no issue with women who are not virgins, actually the whole virgin issue is overratted. I would rather be with a woman who knows what she’s doing than a novice. In saying that there is a common misconception amongst us Zim men. At what stage is a woman defined a harlot? It seems the overidding fear amongst Zim men is marrying someone and finding out that someone they know slept with their wife many moons ago. Another misconception is that all men are just after sex and will trick and connive to get into a woman’s pants. I disgaree with most of that because not all men are players, we doo look for a lot more than just sex in a relationship. Unfortunately and fortunately some relationships will fail so once we get over that we move onto the next. Pammy is right, society places a cruel label on women who are not virgins, it’s bullshyte if you are ask me. It’s about insecurities of immature males who can’t handle the fact that there are women out there who don’t buy into that bullshyte. We need to evolve.
ini ndoda msikana anonaka chete period.anofanirwa kugona kutamba naasekuru kusvikira varutsa!
Saka muri kufa ne Aids. Munoia nyaya idzi dzekutamba nadzo. Pakati apa pano kosha ngapa chengetedzwe, Male or Female. Tese ngati dziidze kuzvibata. Thats why tisiri mhuka. Mhuka inongoita zvauya mumusoro ipapo. Vanhu ndisu tino gona kuronga kuti ndinoda kuita ichi nechiocho, mhuka ndeyema instict kupera. zvino iwe ukada kungo zvawa ona munhu ane chimiro chakanaka, Naye, ane chiso chaka naka, Naye. Haaa unofa uchingoteedza zvataurwa nemuviri uchizvi nyepera kuti heeee ‘ITS NATURAL’
HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS.
TIKA KUPA MUSIKANA AKANAKA ZVEKUTI HANDE, ANE ZVESE ZVINOKUTORA MOYO!!!!!
EHE!
TOBVA TAKU UDZA KUTI ANE AIDS
EHE!
TOBVA TAITI MUISE HAKO IYE ATI ARIKUKUDAO!
WHAT?
EHE!! DONT WORRY TINO KUPA MA CONDOM 4 WOPFEKA ONE TIME.
mubvunzo!!!!!!
UNO ISA HERE?
Zitye izitye chete, kutsenga buble gum rakatsengwa hakufadzi. True munhu wose akaroora zitye at one time you look at your **** and wonder how many big things have entered this bitch zvinongorwadza given that we pay through the nose-bride prize
Zitye izitye chete, kutsenga bubble gum rakatsengwa hakufadzi. True munhu wose akaroora zitye at one time you look at your **** and wonder how many big things have entered this bitch zvinongorwadza given that we pay through the nose-bride prize
Sam..Pls, mind the language…..
Now, the question really is: is the message still relevant? Is it realistic? Should it be modified ? I will like to add that those that are asking those questions of what have entered where and whom, I will turn the mirror back and ask….”what have you been doing and with whom” Unless, you’re telling me that you’ve been doing this with guys…..
??
I will love the day…when we could all discuss the controversial topics on African culture that I put up without people turning it to a field of bandying insults…….My hopes are that the adults should move to the table and discuss while the kids should go out and play….
Pammy is just a bitch understand her ideas and you would get to the point she is personally a cheater. One has always to consider that in our African culture the man pays lobola. With the ideas Pamela is trying to share I wonder if she has the guts to advice vana tete vake kuti regai ndiende mahara I have slept with a minimum of 75 men munzvirei tsitsi the most important thing the guy loves me.
I lied to my husband before marriage that I was a virgin.We got married(white wedding) i facked pain during the first encouter.The guy did not pick it up.he was a very religious guy and now an elder in the church.
I was feeling guilty about this lie and eventually told him about it.Since then things have never been the same.(We have more confrontations than anything you can think off but we are still together.He says you cheated me.Who is wrong now and what should I do
Pammy is right.I agree with her 100%.Next tym u lukin for a right man to do you Pammy, i’ll be waiting.
You know what …I am a bit concerned because I have been getting some of negative feedback from another site that has this same post and one thing I have realized is that the average African doesn’t feel comfortable talking about this….is it because it
a) has to do with sexuality?
b) or does it fly in the face of what is considered as being normal?
* Young girls are still getting pregnant everyday in different regions of Africa.
*Many women are still going for abortion, particularly in non licensed places to perform abortion. I just heard the other day, that a young lady died in Lagos during the process.
* A lot of women are still being labeled whether they did or not do or just because they look like they did?
—–> My question really is, why don’t people just confront the underlying issues.. and just get it out of the way.
Shammiso: Why was it necessary to lie? Why was it important that the topic come up? Most importantly, was your husband a virgin when you met him? Don’t you feel uncomfortable that he might have slept with someone you know….
see what I am saying….mentality needs to change….
By the way….it is more likely that an African man could have slept with 75 women than the other way round…. I remember talking to a guy from Zimbabwe, a couple of years ago and he told me that the longest that he had been without sex was a month. I was like what the? So there is that expectation there that a man can be a ho and a woman should be a virgin..that is a problem…
Ladies and gentlemen. Let me warn you that your probelm does not have answers and solutions. This is why there is this fast spreading HIV. There is no need to preach abstinence and maintenance of virginity when 1 in every 4 of the poeple you are talking to is HIV positive. Veduweee be realisitc! Let’s come up with some ideas that resembles the problem. I remember being told not to have sex by my elders when I was 14 or so… You know what? I started having it with old ladies at 15, with no condoms(thanks God I’m still alive). Look how my elders deceived me. They should have told me to use a condom in case of emergency! Instead of telling me the usual lies-to-children. My child will start carrying condoms around at 14! Ndapedza. but just think of the age you had your first sex? Did you use a condom?
HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS.
TIKA KUPA MUSIKANA AKANAKA ZVEKUTI HANDE, ANE ZVESE ZVINOKUTORA MOYO!!!!!
EHE!
TOBVA TAKU UDZA KUTI ANE AIDS
EHE!
TOBVA TAITI MUISE HAKO IYE ATI ARIKUKUDAO!
WHAT?
EHE!! DONT WORRY TINO KUPA MA CONDOM 4 WOPFEKA ONE TIME.
mubvunzo!!!!!!
UNO ISA HERE?
Ko vaskana,
Denzel looking brother tells you he is hiv positive, and will use 4 condoms at once.
Will you put out?
Please Comrade, go hang. Hamuna dhiri..Plse use lower case because you are wasting space for nothing.
Pam, I like the way you pose your questions/topics and in each of the topics you raise, you always try to confront culture with reality…which is what the Africa Renaissance thinking calls for…total paradigm shift…We always fail to prosper because we are afraid to face reality and hide behind culture which one only follows during daylight and true colours appear after dark or when eyes are not seeing.
Like you mentioned, let young kids play outside whilst we the mature debate…
Pom……..Pom…..Pam
I think the issue of sex before marriege is still applicable but depends with the day and age we are living in you find that quite a number of girls nolonger respect having to wait for the rightful guy to do it after they are married. Saka issue iripo is that it depends with the type of decisions that they have to make that they would rather wait before they have sex until they are married but who can do so either the boys or girls?
But in conclusion the best advice that i would give to both girls and boys is for them to abstain until marriege nekuti some might have regrets later in life and they wont be any going back it could be that unogona kubata AIDS or kutora munhu wausingade kuti aite mukadzi wako.
You’ve raised a very interesting question and I believe that the message is still relevant. And if we can somehow manage to teach our kids to uphold this abstinence message and even a small portion of them apply it the better because we would have saved them from a lot of unnecessary heartache and pain.
Sadly I learnt the hardway that abstinence always best. I had reached the ripe age of 26 years, still a virgin and still very single. I had witnessed my friends give it up and get married and I figured if I gave it up I would follow the same route. Yep I was that naive. And I believe that a number of ladies who give it up before marriage initially before marriage will be under some kind of misconception that the guy they give their virginity to will be the one they will get married to.
After a taste of the forbidden fruit though, its difficult to abstain. Why?because unoita havi(crave for) sex because you’ve experienced it and you know how good it can get. Besides abstaining then won’t restore your hymen 100%!
‘ve managed to abstain for 3 years now. BUT ITS NOT EASY! Its the hardest thing ever coz I’ve tasted the forbidden fruit before. I long, I crave…..all of which I think probably wouldn’t have happened if I had kept my morals. Another tricky thing is that oncve you tell you boyfriend you ain’t a virgin anymore he fails to understand why you are refusing to sleep with him, Christian btothers included! Its been tough.
Can we then say because people are commiting adultery faithfulness is no longer a relevant message? If your answer to this is no then neither can we say abstinence is not a relevant message since most people are indulging before marriage.
CONMAN YOUR INABILITY TO COMPREHEND AN ARGUMENT OR ARGUE COMPREHENSIVELY IS A FORM OF FALLACY. THAT IS WHEN YOU TRY TO ARGUE ILLOGICALLY. FOR EXAMPLE, IF SOMEONE SAYS “A LION IS DANGEROUS BEACUSE IT IS A VERY VERY BIG CAT”
THEN YOU REPLY ” HOW CAN YOU USE VERY VERY IN THAT SENTENCE”
IT IS ASTOUNDING HOW SOME PEOPLE REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANYONE WHO DOES NOT SHARE THEIR VIEWS. AND THEY RESORT TO NAME CALLING.
AS FOR HIGHER CAPS. ITS A DEMOCRACY!!!!!!
MAYBE I HAVE TOUCHED A RAW NERVE. KASI WAKA ZODZWA KANI??? ITS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF ZVINOWANIKWA MUHUPENYU.
AT THE END OF THE DAY WE MUST ALL BE TRUE TO OURSLVES. SO I CAN NOT SUPPORT WHAT I DEEM TO BE INAPROPRIATE AND DANGEROUS BEHAVIOUR JUST TO PLEASE THE CONMANS OF THIS WORLD. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO PLAY OUTSIDE CONNIE!
IN DEED LET THE CHILDREN GO PLAY OUTSIDE.
Abstinance is exactly what is needed today.
The truth of the matter is that it is very difficult in the world we live in today what with so much emphasis on sex. Sex is everywhere, adverts selling lawn mowers somehow have somthing to do sex. The music industries is exploiting sex now more than ever. Newspapers know how much it sells. I live in London and the first thing I see when guys grab a hold of The Sun (a tabloid) is head for page three. All this makes it even more difficult if you are a part of the society to maintain your focus on chastity if that is your chosen route.
This issue is an interesting bit from a Sociological view. What I see here is Some members of society re-writing the norms. This has already taken place in the west over subjects like gender and sexuality. As our society as Zimbos moves on, more and more people like Pami will be gnawing away at these issues and it is inevitable that they (the values) will stand. The whole nation can be a nation of whatever-we-want-to-do-goes mentality. As long as we all agree then its fine.
BUT IS IT REALLY?
I think either Pammy seriously beleives all this Malaki she peddles (Which is quite possible and quite rightly allowed too!)
OR
SHE ENJOYS STARTING FIRES, STIRRING THINGS AND WATCHING THE PEOPLE FIGHT.
a little bit of both I think. Good entertainment if you are bored I say.
i guess it is important for girls to be a virgin before they get maried. i have never heard of a virgin joseph, i have only heard of virgin mary. corect me if i am wrong guys? i was iven a bowl full of hupfu(ealie meal) the day i got married and i was told to stick my finger in it if she was not a virgin( she was already pregnant with our first son then) or to return it untouched if she was a virgin when we did it . i returned it untouched and evryone was happy. this was done in frot of everyone whi was there.
my question is why was my status not quetioned. was it not important? i never asked for this because at the time i loved my girl and i think i would have maried her anywhere.
by that time i got married everyone thought i was joking because i was a famed womaniser. i even got nicknames that have stood till today about my previous life before mariage. but i am happily maried and i have 2 kids with my wife.
i think virginity matters but it should notbe the decider especially if the girl tells u the truth. i think if she lies its a different story.
i also think there is no word called virginity for man it is for women
I was reading somthing George Michael said once. He claimed that Fidelity is no big deal with his boyfriend. He said he can tell him at any time ” Hey I’m going to give my end away” and the guy says okay.
My point is (I know some people will not agree because they are ‘enlightened’), Fidelity is a moral issue. Just like sexuality, and all the other little rules we live by in society.
But once you cross the line in the area of sex like (G M), then the rest of the rules do not matter. You can have orgies, you can go dogging, you can be a swinger and be all you want to be because you are now free of society’s rules.
It reminds me of imwe nyaya….. What about polygamy
Who decides if it right or wrong. If an african man does it he is backwards. If Hugh Hefner does it, he is a player.
It all depends on which society you live in. In some societies it is normal for men to behave like dogs and sleep around and if the wives are asked, they say haa varume ibasa ravo. but in some societies you do that and thats your behind.
Or for grown men to have sex with or marry 14/15 year old girls. Jail some societies, Mukwasha in others!
So where do we go to for the RIGHT RULES (Since they differ with every society)
lol…no Pammy enjoys putting the issues out there, getting people to think and hopefully changing people’s mindset!!
and then i say,donot try to be fooled.a woman’s virginity is not physically and morally equivalent to a man’s.this is why you hear people calling one another ‘mai ****’ (your mum is a bitch)will likely end up fighting to death.but baba **** is kind of heroic and causes no fights.there is no male bitch.ma**** vakadzi.donot try to find equality on nothing.you lose your virginity dont cry when you marry junk because the proud quality african man will not take an open hole to his home.handikupi makiyi ekitchen kana wakaboorwa boorwa
Ana Lucas maa kuti dzorera kumas****. Of course the woman who sleeps around is frowned upon (in most if not all societies on earth) more than a man doing much much worse.
If what the woman wants is the respect of society, she should conduct herself accordingly.
But nyaya yarwadza Pami pano ndeyekuti maownz acho munoda kulaza vaskana musina kuvaroora. Then motsamwa ka maroora munhu aka ’shaishwa’ nemumwe.
As long as Iwe waka boora vana kana mwana wevamwe before, Usagumbuke kana waroora aka boorwao ne vamwe.
Charambwa na CDE-TEBURU-TSVINA-GWENZI-MUPOSTORI nd****kuti tibhane nyaya yekuzvibata. Apo kwete, kana uchikwanisa, zvibate. Mukomana kana musikana.
Zvimwe zvacho vamwe venyu hamuzvinzwisise asi pane ma ties anoitika uka vatana ne munhu. Saka zvichikosha kuti munhu agare akazvibata. Married, single, male or female.
For the sake of those who might find it hard to understand kuzvibata kwemunhu ari married ndekwe kuvatana ne wawaka roorana naye chete.
Chitipa imwe nyaya Pami
CDE TTGM masumudza nyaya yave kunetsa mazuvaano pamusoro apo. Mataura nyaya yekuti evreything is now being advertised by sex. Ma toothpaste, reading material, fones etc. Its very hard to desist especially when you are still young and uncontrollably horny. Hanzi ongorora chikonzero chaita MUSORO UTEME. ndonyaya irikufailure ma politicians all around the world. Saka toita sei kuti vana vedu vasave nesexual mentality at a young age iyo ichi budiswa pa TV after every 10minutes?
For starters we can start by making sure we spend quality time with our kids. Over the dining table many lessons are taught. Kids are smarter than we think and they pick up most of the stuff that WE do. So if enjoy watching zvakadaro daro, the kids will pick it up.
Unonzwa kamwana kachi imba kuti heee can hit from the front or from the back??????
And the silly mom thinks she is being morden by allowing some of the filthiest things to even enter their childs mind let alone out of his/her mouth.
So if you have no control over what you listen to, watch or read, haa unenge wawedzera hondo. I think we have to make concious decisions as to what to watch and when.
I was introduced to porn at 13 myself and you back in Zim those days it was hard to find. My world just changed the pictures I saw, stories I read just set my imagination wild. Before I knew it I was not even looking at girls my age I was after MILFS. One day I heard a lady say ‘Mwana ane ziso risingaite iyeye’
But these days they dont have to go far to look for it. All they have to do is watch some MTV, and read some tabloids and they are sorted for you know what.
Raging hormones are bad enough without the encouragement of all the filth the kids are subjected to.
Prayer is also a good thing.
Pammy
After reading everything that has been contributed by others and yourself, I think the problem is the bride price.
Why I say that? Let’s take this ordinary scenario:
1. When buying a new car, lets say a Honda Civic, it cost an average of $16 000, this is because everything on it is new, fresh and untouched yet.
2. However, when you buy a used Honda Civic, it will cost you an average of $8 000 depending on the usage and mileage on it.
This is what we call fair pricing because you are selling something according to its current market value.
With a Zimbabwean woman, the deal changes to my disadvantage (man). If I get married to a virgin or non-virgin girl (aka boworwa), the lobola is still the same USD$3 000 plus Ten Cattle, yet I am buying (marrying) a second hand girl. A second hand girl should be cheaper because she is no-longer a virgin and do not deserve a full price just like the Honda scenario.
If the script were to be flipped and Zim man have to be paid to get married to a woman, maybe that is when you can say men should be virgins too. We do not have to be virgins if we do not want to, unless if you are paying us to be your husband then I can understand.
Its human nature babe, even during Jesus time’s life was never fair to women. You are better off these days unlike those women that existed during Jesus’ times.
On the last note, I have never go to the store to buy Fubu snickers and the snickers told me that though you buy me with your hard-sweaty money, you have to wear me after you wash your feet. I am not being evil, but just trying to tell it like it is.
You do raise valid points Parks but I have to disagree with you because even in countries where the reverse occurs this is an issue..As much as I want to blame men for this, I have to be honest and bring it back to women. If women want a change, they are the one’s that have to fight for this change, they have to be the one’s that say enough of this, or this makes no sense or why is there a different standard for me than for my brothers? A lot of negative things that still exists in African society, still exists because it is enforced by the African woman.
It starts from us!
My name is Eric. I live in Colorado Springs, Colorado USA. I would love to chat with someone from Zimbabwe. If anyone wants to chat contact me at wilberteric@hotmail.com. I like to talk politics, sports, and I would like to see what life is like in Zimbabwe. I am willing to talk about everything here in the United States. Thank you.