I almost cried yesterday as I found myself reading the blog of an unknown writer who is based somewhere in the UK.

I know a couple of men started muttering when they came across this topic: “what is up with Pamela and these kinds of topics?”.

A couple of years ago, one of my friends happened to pour out the contents of her bag in my presence. Apart from the usual knick knacks that normally exists in a woman’s purse, i.e , cosmetics, floss, a pack of gum, keys, etc was also some condoms.

I have wanted to write on this topic for some time now but I waited because I wanted to approach this topic in a way that is beneficial to all.

As most of my readers know, I am the epitome of the classic romantic, with open eyes, I often tread in on areas that are deemed inhabitable by others as I search for that one, that needle in the haystack.

I remember growing up with the fears of being labeled a bad girl. What will happen if I gave it up before the day?

Many African women grew up with the idea that the man did all the chasing while the woman did the waiting or played the role of the shy one that didn’t want to be disturbed. We all grew up reminding ourselves that being too forward was frowned upon.

A long, long time ago, in the hot throes of passion, lust and love, I played with the idea of moving in with my partner. He lived more than 10 hours driving distance away from where I lived and I was sick and tired of the whole commuting.

Does it lie in the way I hold myself or the actions that I take? Last night, I got a chance to tell one of my stories to a friend of mine, after laughing his head off at my naivety and calling me a bush girl - he then proceeded to tell me that the material was an aphrodisiac and that I should have felt worked up to perform.

A couple of years ago, I went to visit a good friend of mine in his house. I met his girlfriend there and we got a talking. In the process, I found out that he had been going out with this lady for awhile, in retrospect that should have been my clue in, after all I am his close friend and I had never heard of this woman.