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Hello All,
I hope you all had a wonderful week. This is a new week with new adventures and I just had to share another letter that I was sent by another reader and he will like your feedback. I am posting his letter with the hopes that you will be able to help him.
Pamela,
Thanks for an interesting column. I have been in the States for 5 years and I have had a dating problem. I have two small kids and I need to date a woman who will be inspirational and a good model for my young and impressionable kids. I tried to date some black Americans and it was an instant nightmare that I will never repeat. I do not see that many Zimbabwean in the area that I live and I am wondering if you have a dating sight strictly for Zimbabwean in the diaspora that you can refer me to. Some other people may benefit from this and if you decide to publish it just make sure my name is not published.
Till next time,
Pammy
Pamela Stitch is Metro’s lifestyle Editor and can be reached at pamelastitch@zimbabwemetro.com
in the first place this guy says he has two small children.this is where it all should start.where is the mother or mothers of these children.secondly this guy is not quite clear.does he mean to say he is looking for someone to look after his children or someone to love have sex with and possibly more kids?in other words is he going to date only someone who will be a good model to his children.
anywhere my advice to this guy is to go kumusha , pamela , spend a good two three months there and find himself someone there and not on the net.i have had net relations .they can be like blind dates.you dont want that if you are looking for someone to play mum to your children .at the end of it all just find a good woman .whether she is zimbabwean or not is something else.i think you are influenced by some regionalistic mentality .find yourself a good woman live not macyber girl who in most cases are more desperate than you.i was almost dragged to the alter one week into a cyber relationship.so what am i saying.whether you want a zimbabwean or whatever, find a live person to person relationship.and let the guide be a good woman than the nationality. donot creat an ideal woman just find someone good but be flexible.otherwise depending on what happened to your children’s mum you might just want to raise your kids alone
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try googling this site metro date zim.
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i second Lucas.Find yoself a real person,not a cyber woman whose motives u dont know.I think it aint wise to look 4 a woman, rather u shld position yoself at places where woman pass thru eg gatherings, clubs, gym, etc.so, make yoself active in yo n/hood & soon u wl meet nice women.Lastly, take time 2 know her lest u hop 2 the altar 1 min & next min u r in a bitter divorce that’ll milk u yo hard-earned $$.
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Luv on the net is not bho, baba mwana. However, its cool to give it a try. In these modern times we rarely find time to socialise as we will be busy working. I think luv on the net will gradually take over from the traditional ones, like getting connections from vatete, as we are spending more and more time on the net…..
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Come home my brother am the Prime Minister now and there are so many beautiful Zimbos here. Just visit us for a while and yu will never regret. Zimbabweans women are lekker for sure and there is no substitute for quality. Nationality matters my brother becoz of cultural differences its only after dating so many of thes other women thatyu realise that home is best. Its true yes that if yu are like yu can meet a very good non Zimbabwean woman but they are rare to find so thats why its best to go bek hom and get yoself somebody that yu have so many things in common with.
I also agree internet dating is not the best way to go, beautiful and warm hearted ones are not fopund on the net, magringo chete that yu find there. The other thing as they also said find spots where Zimbos in the diaspora frequent there and connect with them and if yu have lady friends use them for that. there are so many zimbos in the states my bru just broaden you horizon and yu will catch some good nice fish there.
all the best
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Nyaya yekutsvaga rudo iyi haisi yekuti tingo mhanyirira kusasa.
One area that I strongly recommend is sorting your relationship with God. Everything else will come from this. It did wonders for me, I know it will do the same for you.
Tsvaga mwari blaz.
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Try kutsvagira kumusha unogona kubuda newakowo haunga kundwa nekamupfanha Harry kakaswera kachachura ku Zimbabwe.
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CDE ZVAZVAITA. February 10th, 2009 5:21 pm : Maybe, but God is a pretty lousy baby-sitter!
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comrade zvazvaita
ndopatinokonana pega ipapo pokuti you can not address issues realistically.for all you know maybe blazo uyu anotova namwari n****kare.all he wants for now is a woman 1.to cater for mmvo wake and 2.to look after vana vake.
i would have wanted to know kuti blazo ava vakura zvakadii in addition to what happened to mai/madzimai evana ava.kwete kuti munhu ari kutsvaka wokuvata naye iwe womuratidza musiki1!cant follow the logic
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Jon, i cant even believe what my eyes saw that you wrote.God is God is not human you need to retract such blasphemy against the ALMIGHTY , munoswera mava marombe nenyaya yekutuka Mwari. Tamba nezwimwe not God.God is everything without him we perish.Issue an apology to God my dear just like you wrote on this forum , write a public apology.
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Fools dispise wisdom
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Seek GOD not woman bro
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broe, it might have been a blessing in disguise to you. ungagijimi kakhulu juss take your time you will find the right person to look after the kids. or maybe juss give me a try i mite be your maid only and i look after your kids.
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Ahhh hes Lucas ……….long time.
Now,
Kana blaz uyu aina Mwari zvemashuwa kwete zve religion, Anokwanisa kutaura naye vachi dairana ne kusorta all these things. Kana uina Mwari you have everything.
If Gods hand is upon you. You could be in prison, but you end up running the prison, You can be a foregner and end up running tingz. You can seek answers and you will find them.
God can sort your mess out. Your mess will be a message. With God all things are possible.
Mind you some of these statements are far above human Logic, so when you use havard to decipher the things of God you will come unstuck. You need to be in the son for you to see the sun. You have to have the light for you to feel light again.
So nyaya iripo…………….Tsvaga Mwari…….Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.
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saka munhu wenyama role yake iri papi?i thought this guy whether or not he has god he still a man and can still appeal to other men for advice.yes he can be asked to get god and to be truthful and all, the point is he might be doing this because has asked him to “enda kumetro ichakubatsira mwanangu.uchawana muprofita wangu cde.zvazvaita achakuratidza zhira” something like that should be possible surely
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Jon , Jon Jon your language baba
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handizvo izvozvo munhu ngaroore wematongo sezvandakaitwa inini kwete kingonhonga munhuparank woita mudzimai.Love on the net ndeyenhema tinoda zvokuonanana totaurirana pachinyakare .Mudzimai is permanent so uneed time to get someone who has ethical breakdown with u who knows macultural norms ekumusha kwenyu teerai .Pam its hightime people should come home and get reality
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Lizolizo in as I understand the adage roora vematongo, I what guarantee do I /you have that you are right. I do not believe that old adage. There many matsotsi echikadzi here home.You can not guarantee a good wife because she comes from home. A good wife need to be worked for , fasted for , prayed for. kwete kungo tora maboora ngoma because they from your home. Remember we live in a global village where there are no bounderies .
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Saka muprofita wacho ari kuti. Iwe mushonga wako uno uwana kana washandisa mabvi ako. Pamwe mudzimai waurikutsvaga ari right next to you. You just need that connection with God.
We all need each other at the end of the day since we ae gregarious beings. And our father wants us to love and unite with each other in him.
My point Cde Lucas ndeye kuti. Make sure your relationship with God is sorted first.
Eg………….
The people that are close to Cde zva do not have to ask for Cde zva to see their obvious problems all Cde zva does is when he sees one of him friends uinhappy, he finds out why, and tries to help.
If Cde zva’s friend is angry, Cde can tell. because they are friends.
A lot of benefits come out of friendship.
Its the same with God.
Munhu aka uya pano akati ndashaya bhebhi, tikamunyengera muskana, when ever they have problems vanozoti munhu wenyu uye ave kenetsa Cde pliz help. And what will cde do??????????
But one hears from God. One can always trust that God will see them through avery trial
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This blog is becoming tooo Godish. And you never know, maybe he looked to God for an answer, but God’s anwers is found in signs normally carried by people. You can see this guy has the ability to date non-zim chicks. But maybe God has told him to follow the Zimbabwe sign….only to find the sign pointing back where he is coming from..
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Maybe????
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try person.com bhururu. ini ndakamboishandisa inoita.
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kana wakasiyana namai vevana uchifunga kuti uchawana zviri nani sorry hama yangu,kana amai vevana wakavabata rough enda unokumbira ruregero,good luck in your pursuit for true love but i don’t see it coming .Dambudziko hombe ndinoona nderekuti imi mukoma muri munhu uya asingadi kunzi Deadbeat but you not doing yourself a favour looking for date aka babysitter.Kutodzokera kumusha zvikada ungangowana sisi vanganzwe nhamo yako kana kuti vototsvaga vari muleague yako yesingle parenthood.Whatever you do not let the children suffer remember the old saying “HAKUNA MUKADZI ANOCHENGETA VANA VASI VAKE”
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But izita here iro nhaiwe Je…………..
Akomana kana iri foja, mumwe achapenga chete. I’m telling you!!
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be it facebook you tube zimtube zimcacebook whatevr it has become a trend that zimbabweans just heve to be vulgar.kusasvoda chaiko.
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People forget that even kids read this.
What example are we setting?
Apart from that, I know Zimbos to be en elegant people. A people of values and standards. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself but at what expense.
Would you risk your self respect just to appear cool and contemporary?
Can you make yourself heard without resorting to the lowest of communiaction and wit?
Can we build a better tomorrow for our kids, or are we now the me geneartion?
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Really, I just think that Pamela does not have much to write about, so once again we have been given some impromtu and improvised story from “someone” in need of help. She otherwise has relativley interesting articles, but I am beginning to get the impression that these are far and wide between.
Yet again, another example of journalism in its infancy, chokwadi with all that is happening in the world, and even kumusha; and the jahwi of Zimbos in the diaspora Pammy thought the best thing she could do for her readers was to pass on some silly story about a guy looking for a wife cum mother to his two kids?
Hameno.
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Taura zvako Simbimbino sis ava leaves a lot to be desired ne nyaya dzavo no wonder why we see many people write to much vulgar coz of the concept of the stories in other words people do not really want to be commenting on this fake stories.Cde Zvazvaita why could you let your kids read stuff like this have you ever had of parental control sites make this one of them Auntie Rhoda vefake ava.
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The only thing I agree with the rest of the helpers is that this guy needs to find a real woman and not a cyber one, thats as far as I agree.
To you my bro this what I have to say,
You wanna raise your kids in a decent way with proper morals and respect- not any woman can do that for them. Come back to Zimbabwe and find yourself a homely lass. All those women in the diaspora have been corrupted by the lifestyles and the different cultures they encounter there. U a getting it from a brother who has seen it all. Almost broke my marriage whilst I was in the UK some time back(2004). Fortunately for me I returned in time and it wasn’t long before my wife rediscovered her cultural identity. We haven’t had any serious problems for five years now. Out of 4 of my collegues I left behind only one is still married.I will not dwell on it but I’m quite sure thats why you are stuck with two kids with no mother/s.
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AKOMANA DONT USE VULGA WORDS ZVEDII, PAMMY ANOGONA KUNGE ASINA NYAYA BUT TO SOME EXTENT DZINOBATA VAMWE VANE SAME PROBLEM. EEEE KUSHAMISIRA KUNOWANIKWA BUT LETS NOT USE THESE BAD WORDS FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CHILDREN EVEN VANYARIKANI CHAIVO.
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blazo zvinonetsa kana makisimusi enyu awanda kuti muwane magero.try clubbing its a source of many a single people looking for partners assuming kuti muri mu chop chop.but then with kids you need a decent woman.Thus I recommend you to join a church .here i am sure you will definitely find munhu wekukanda mukitchen ari suitable but the blazo zvinhu zvinoda patience.
Chete CV yenyu ndiyo isiri clear blazo because how do we know you are not axe killer.
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Mutochinwa cld b right u know….maybe this guy z a killer, wife-basher or evil!
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What is wrong with you Zimbabweans. This is not an opportunity to display your arrogance and prejudices.. Why should you blame Pamela for publishing this letter? So now you are the judges of which letters Pamela can publis and which ones to ignore. Guys, if you have nothing constructive to say, just shut up and stay off the sight. You all know that most people go overseas and stay there illegally and cannot just come back home since they will not be able to go back abroad. You also know that some people left Zim due to political persecution. So what more do you want? This guys clearly says he see merrit in marrying a woman from Zim. How do you marry someone without dating them first? You can ask this guy where the mother of the kids are. Obviously for some reason she cannot look after the kids.. This is a sight for everyone and you cannot expect someone to bare their soul 100%. So you think this guy just wants someone to take care of the kids even if he cannot love her? Wierd thinnking. Its nice to see guys who actually tell the pitfalls of internet dating rather than those who must be leaving in another planet. This is why we cannot never see Zimbos doing something constrauctive together when they go over abroad and I can see that we are already reproducing the bad home situation in the different countries that we are in.
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My brother try the UK ZimVigil, there are plenty of women there who have abandoned their husbands back in Zimbabwe and have literally divorced.
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All, I will say is please just help this guy.
None of the letters I put here are made up…they are sent to me and if I am given permission to post it – I do.
Have a great weekend.
Pammy
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It does not matter that these letters are real, they could very well easily be real letters with FAKE stories!!! Ende iwewe Tatenda Murefu, for the love of life and everything worth living, what the hell are you going on about?Nwadi yako sounds so passionate about rubbish to be honest, in the grand scheme of things, this chap, if he and story are real in the first place, there are very few women, black, white, asian, or whatever that are going to be truly objective about loving HIS children (by another woman), and it does not matter where she comes from. Kho, haven’t we heard of women from kumusha kwacho being cruel and vile to other women’s children. Sp, this gwaan of heh heh heh vakudzi vekumusha ndoozvo is utter rubbish. The missing piece here, was what brought about the demise of marriage kuamai vevanha vake?He must tell us what happened first before we dispense wisdom. Over and above all, hapana nyaya apa, just Pammy with nothing to tell us, sorry Pam but that is the truth.
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Mai vevana vakaenda kupi? Chegeta vana pamwe namai vevana usaite kunge bhuru remombe rinongobarisa richienda
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pamela you sleeping on the job now mate
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Simbimbino, this is for your benefit and consumption. I am passionate about certain things of life and I try to keep a balance. The fact that you may not like they way I look at things is not my problme but yours. The point I am making is very simple. When you address an issue in a pulic forum like this, you cannot be expected to list the A-z of the issues. you may think you have sufficiently communicated whn there are people like you who work just from a negative pint of view. The same way Simbimbino is your sight name and not your real name applies to what this guy is trying to achieve. I am not sure where you live but for those who are outside zimbabwe, they will know for a fact that zimbabweans have a reputaion for enjoying each others problems. If you decide to msiunderstand my point, that seems standard with you and I canot take the issue any further than that. The case is very simple. This guy prefers to marry a zimbabwean, for better of for worse. the history of his marriage does not come into it because for whatever reason, tha marriage is dead, plain and simple. Saka uri kurasika papi?
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pams you are sleeping on the job love
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NGAICHISIYA MATAMBO
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pamela this case is rested.this is what comrade zvazvaita means by saying ngaichisiya matambo.start a new thread darling
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Mbabbo matova advocate ka apa, which one should siya matambo then – the displayed confusion or the help to bro. My contribution though is that bro. needs to go to the manufacturer of our lives and ask for this precious commondity that some of you guys have and obviously take for granted [by your display here and wherever you are]. Ask the Lord your God, if you dont know Him – be born again. Like bro. said before me; He makes all things possible [good things l presume thats what we all want]. Ndatenda.
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SHA SHONA YAKO NDATADZA KUYIHWA INI.CHIRUNGU CHACHO NDACHIPOTSA SO I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING JINDA.PAMELA NGAANGOTANGA IMWE NYAYA CHETE HANDIONI PACHIBUDA ZVIMWE ZVITSVA APA.WHILE YOU NOT VERY FAR FROM MY PROFESSION PAWATI NDAVA ADVOCATE BUT I DONT SEE RELEVENCE YACHO IMAGINE.
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Tatenda, first and foremost: WHATEVER!!! This is not intended as a personal dig at you, let’s be clear about; it aint personal homie, not even in the slightest bit. Moving on, wabaya dede, kumusha we share each other’s burden(s) and joy as well, hapana chakaipa. My point was, and still IS, koh amai vevanha vari kupi? Kana vakatisiya, nematambudziko-ka, handiti that’s how we roll as people? ANY woman, black, white, hispanic (they are quite negro-ish, trust me; you don’t get booty like that without some black in you, zvisinei!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and whatever race, creed & religion, isn’t NOT going to ask this chap where the mother of his impressionable children are? Womens instinct to nurture is very very strong, in the most rare of circumstances do women up and leave their children, most times they stay and put up with the man and his tricks, or they take the kids, especially if they at a tender age, probably like these. And as he says, the kids are impressionable, a lot of the times children a full of innocense, so I cannot help but build a generalised inpression of this gentleman that; if he has dated across the board, I must believe that some of these women probably looked beyond the fact that he has children, heck, they might have kind of developed an amiable relationship, with them near enough seeing one these women as a maternal figure, so what drove them away then?Surely surely it cannot be the fact that he has kids, or cultural differences? I can believe that some women felt uncomfortable about the culture thing, but that has jack to do with the kids but moreover this man. He cannot expect an african-americam woman to impart african, let alone zimbabwean values on his kids, he is not raising his kids in zim, therefore he HAS to broaden his horizons, be more open and accommodating of the cultural differnces and ACCEPT that is the lay of the land. If not, he can a) marry a woman direct from home, and forever hold his peace!, b) send the children home or c) go it alone, that way HE and HE alone can pass down whatever conservative or traditional values on his children withput having them “defiled by these western women, vasina hunhu netsika, herereh herereh zvakazodii”! Tatenda, I got no qualms with what you are passionate about, ngazvirambe zvakadaro, like you i kind’a enjoy these forums and sites, asi ngatisanganei pano tichiita zvinhu zvino vamba, kwete kuparadza, nekuputsa or let alone showing us in vulgar & distasteful light. Koh, havasi mazezuru vanoti, “…….zano panga une rako”, or something like that? What say you Tatenda?
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Nhai Pammy kana uchienda kuhoridhe siira vamwe basa kwete kuti kwadza nenyaya one for weeks on end. Ndosaka vanhu vachizonyora zvekunyadzisira panapa.
In the words of MDC……………………….Chinja
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