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A couple of years ago, one of my friends happened to pour out the contents of her bag in my presence. Apart from the usual knick knacks that normally exists in a woman’s purse, i.e , cosmetics, floss, a pack of gum, keys, etc was also some condoms. There was silence when my eyes met hers, flabbergasted, I asked her, “why she was carrying that along with her. Laughing, she responded that a woman needs to have that with her at all times, because you never know.
As I type these words, I wonder is that really true and if her concept is really relevant or realistic to the typical African woman. I wonder what the repercussion will be if the woman brought the protection along for the tryst? Will she be looked at in the same light or be viewed as being an easy woman?
This is in Sub Saharan Africa, the question becomes are the numbers higher or lower in the Diaspora? But, regardless of it is either or, the fact remains that many African women and men are getting infected on a daily basis in the Diaspora.
Having this information, then the question becomes, why aren’t more women taking the initiative in ensuring that they are their partner/partners are protected in any tryst? Is it the fear of what society will think? What will the trystee think? Is it the fear of being put in the category of the easy woman?
You will think that as more women become empowered in almost every facet of their lives, that it is a given that more women will become more empowered in their sexual decision making but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Or am I wrong?
So, I throw the question back at you:
Men: how will you feel if the woman brought the condoms and the responsibility in terms of protection was no longer yours? Will your perception of her change or will it remain the same?
Women: Have you ever gone into a drug store to buy a box of condoms? Why or why not?
It is better to be viewed as easy and be AID free than to be viewd with ‘respect and be infected.
Having said that though, I still think the issue of sex is a sacred one and it should be viewed as such. The mere fact that its sub issues (if there is such a term) such as condoms, fisrt move etc carry so much weight in our discussions is TO ME an indication that sex is a force to be reckoned with. I think our desolation comes when we star to make light of it.
Why not wait????
have your presumptive partner tested if possible because your safety is paramount to our existence as a people.
Some weeks ago I asked if A drop dead gorgeous man or woman told you they really fancied you and that they wanted to sleep with you. But then they tell you they are HIV positive and suggested you could wear 4 condoms. I asked if you would say yes to such a proposition.
If your answer is yes then by all means go ahead!!!
But if it is no……………..THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING AROUND SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS AND USING ONE OR NO CONDOM?????????????????
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and by the way this no dis to anyone affected by this evil disease. You are all loved and important in this fight against AIDS.
Gone are the days when people used to make fun of those who died or were infected by this monster. I am one of those who somehow regarded the disease as some sort of punishment, or looked at some sufferers with disdain and in some cases just never bothered.
Lets unite and fight all these thing coming against us. We will win!!
PAMBERI NE RUDO. NGAAKUDZWE MWARI.
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I am a very romantic person so I usually like to play with my women before we engage in matters of promiscuity. However, I have been asked here in the diaspora by a lot of women if I was gonna unleash a condom. I remember this other one I want to her place by chance so I did not have CDs. She asked me and I said I didn’t have one, and she unleashed one from her handbag. I think it was good that she had those because both of us were so horny and a bit drunk. So I believe women have also to start carrying them in case it gets rough even at a work place. It will be good for us men not to treat such women as loose or irrespective but as women who are really conscious of the world we are living in. Both of us(men and women) have to start admitting that we are a bit loose. I think that will be a great step towards eliminating HIV.
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i believe this is a perception issue more than it is a safety issue. i dont think anyone would agree that using condoms is a good preventative habit to cultivate. the glaring question that arises comes from the perception that african women are a celibate species that has no sexual exploits outside of a steady relationship. such a perception then leads to such questions as “what is she doing with a condom in her bag” – if it was a non-issue, pammy would not have even blinked twice at the sight of the condom. so, pammy – why were you flabbergasted at the sight of the condom ?
so, while it may seem that african men have a warped perception of what a “good” african woman should carry in her handbag, it also appears that african women tend to subscribe to that very way of thinking that is not a true reflection of themselves…
pammy ?
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varume navakadzi let us not be controlled by our cultural values especially kuDiaspora.Inini kana ndikatowana ane condom ndotoirova zvekuenda ndakasununguka coz you don have to trust anyone.Just imagine waona mwana achibva anakirwa newe ipapo and anemunhu wake already unoita sei?Condom mai mwana ndiipaze
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if u cant abstain use protection.Ukanyara kutakura condom uchazonyara waakukosora.
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well said pilsner
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CDE T.T.G.M mufambire mberi nekuparidza kushandisa kwemaJombo. Vakadzi vakangwara vanogara nawo uye zvinodzivirira kubata hutachiona kana kubatsira CD4 count yako isadzikira zvikuru. Nokudaro ngatimashandisei kana musina 1. Faith 2. Cant Abstain 3. Muine general conscience of the world we live in.
Ini ndakumbonoona vamwe kuZimba ndodarika neBotswana varume. Zvakadaro ivai neweekend izere maCondom, Faithfulness and Abstinence.
Tobatana Monday.
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I respect mukadzi anogara kana kufamba nemacondooms but ini ndine problem yekuti even ndikapfeka condom racho rinobvaruka saka mazuva ano ndava kutoisa **** chete coz zvakafanana,richangobvaruka chete.
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mune **** hombe baba vemwana dai muri murume wangu, munotobvarura condom. Please ladies lets move around ne ma condoms especially ma single mothers
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Handisati ndamboona murume weku Africa achiti yangu i normal size kana kuti idiki. Vese unongonzwa zvichinzi ndine hombe. Sei tichidaro nhai ma ownz?
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Nokuti blambi dzacho hadzizi dzemaGMO.
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The responsibility for protection falls with both of us. If a woman takes that responsibility with me, believe me ndinotokanda pakitchen. I am attracted to independent, decisive, out of the box thinkers and doers. Thats how I choose to play. With AIDs maaan, you cant afford to play with a woman who pretends and behave like a teenager! Independent women, take up the responsibility and SAVE MANKIND.
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practically if a woman carries condoms then it makes things easy because in the event that i dont have she will be as safe as myself.we can not take a risk and we donot call off the match.simple and nice.
then reality dawns.why would a woman be an ever ready,mugara dzakasungwa?saka i**** ka iri.if she was expecting me and i get to her flat and she has condoms and she has bought them specifically for my visit i will repect her very much.but if i have just chanced on her somehow and i find she already is ready for “in case i meet a man who wants to bed me” then i will have second thoughts.its a balance of good intentions and decency.
if she is my girl friend and she knows we always use condoms and she expects me then no problem.
reminds me of the last girlfriend i had.everytime i would leave the surplass condoms in her flat no matter how much i would show anger she would always say she threw them away.easy way out for a lying bitch who all along was double timing and she would use them with that **** she thinks will marry her.
anywhere let me not live in this bitterness .j is much better than her anywhere and more decent not to mention beauty.i love j and will most likely marry her yet still we use condoms and when i leave some they are always there.
a final word of advice.get tested both of you ,individually or together but for goodness sake get tested if you are planning a long term relationship with or without marriage
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Get tested.
Scary as it may seem. It helps all of us and puts your mind to rest.
Good one Lucas
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Lucas brot in an interesting dimension; that is,whetha she was expecting u or not.I think thats important.Otherwyz maybe anaga asina kuchengetera iwewe ma condom acho but ma”takeaway” evane zvivindi.lol
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at the end of the day; if she is loose or not, the fact that she has insight to have the rubbers and not necessarilly use them, not than not have them & give it uo “live” speaks volumes of any such woman. In the stability of a relationship you discuss family planning, and the choice of method, kana zviri “penga-udzoke”, pfeka jombo, rako kana rake it doesn’t matter.
We are ALL animals with base & carnal instincts, yes even women from the “motherland”, they too get horny, and sometimes all they want is quick relief, saka at the end of the day have fun with it; bag up and do not end up regretful.
Simbimbino out!!
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Simbimbino aratidza kuti ano ona AMERICAN IDOL.
Seacrest out!!!
Simbimbino out!!
LOL
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see you all next week on another hot topic (God willing). Have a mighty nice weekend.
God bless
CDE out!!!!!
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Vazukuru akanyora panumber 5 musi wa 29 October 2008 ndinokumbirawo ayedze kuva nekarukudzo kunevamwe nhai. Chokwadi izita here rekuzvipa rakadai. Ngatiedze kuva nehunu. Site ino inoverengwa nevana haisi rated for adults only.
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Ndakamboedzao last time Mbuya.
Izvi ndizvo zvinoitika kana vanhu vasisa raire vana. Rukudzo chinhu chaka kosha kwazvo. Zita raka dai rino ratidza hunhu husati whakura, uye munhu wacho haazive kukosha kwemadzimai Saka ane mamwe maonero aanoita. Pfungwa dzese dzaka zara izvo zvaka ora izvi. But madzimai haana k
usikirwa kunakidza varume nenzira iyoyo bedzi. Kana varumeo hatina kusikirwa kutsvaka zvokuvatana bedzi.
Munin’ina dai wanga wa chinjao mafungiro waedza kuwedzera kuno enda pfungwa dzako. Unoguma wave pamwe panhu. Ukaramba waka dai ………..Uno guma wave muguva.
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l biliv in getting tested first.know each other`s status and then play it safe.condoms are condoms no matter who brings them.the fact that a person carries them shows that they are responsible and women are responsible.go ladies!!!
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kana mukadzi anyatsokunhafwa (foreplay) normally anenge ave in a differnt cloud and its very difficult for her to control anything. The responsibility will be with the guy to wear that rubber.You women unozongoona yapinda when u are breating heavily. Tell trhat friend of yours kuti, maya that condom will only work in the situation where its an arranged sex session where the guy just comes with his thing already erect and its just to simply have sex. Unoti kana ndanyatsokubata ungawane nguva yekuti pfeka nhayataya. Unozongoona yavamo.
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Will my perception of her change? Of course yes!!!
What will come up into mind is;
1. How many dudes have she been going on with the same practice?
2. How did she know that I was going to ask her for sex?
3. How many times does she sleep around in a month that warrants carrying protect 24/7?
4. Is she marriage type?
All these questions will come into the mind of a man and if they are not answer with full proof and openness, I do not think a man will marry the girl. What do you think I feel marrying a girl that carries condoms in her purse? (Zvimwe taurai muchirevesa) I expect that from a prostitute not a girlfriend. I know there is AIDS, but then do not sleep around if you know you might die.
Hell No!! Jesus Christ son of Mary!!!
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If the ladies dont carry condoms then hameno zvenyu coz things might get hot pasina kwekumawana and i also think nyaya yemababe yekutiukashandisa condom haunditruste inofanira kupera. i wear condoms for both of us hanty?
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Vanhu tika rega kusandura mawonero edu hati chinje mafungiro edu hatichinje maitiro edu hatinje situation dzedu. saka kana uchiri kurarama uchi funga kuti babe yese yawa ona yaka naka is for you. Or kana uchi funga kuti iwe prince/princess we Africa prince/princess wehumambo whaMwari waka fanira kurairwa ne wese wese. then ucha rairwa ne wese wese wobva wafa!!!
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pfambi inofamba necondon chete. ndiye anoripfeka here
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