I honestly planned to be in church to ring in 2010 but often life gets in the way – so I ended praying the new year in. This was definitely very different from 2009, where I was partying up a storm somewhere in New York. 2009 was a year like no other – I definitely grew, went through some things but it definitely brought me closer to God. I really don’t know what storms might come this year but I know I have more than enough to see me through. It has been a while since I wrote but I seem to be coming across this whole other woman issues a lot these days. I remember getting on face book, early one morning and I was tagged on a note by Ekene Onu, in which she was talking about the other woman, and then she tagged me on a second note in which the wife who had just been replaced by the other woman had her say. I read both notes with sadness in my heart but I also understood where each one of them were coming from.

Unfortunately, there is a dearth of men and as such, many women find themselves settling for things that do not make sense in anyway shape or form. These other women tell themselves all kinds of lies in order to assuage their guilt. Some of these lies are:”either I am old no one really wants me or the more familiar one and the one that many women accept – he loves me, he just can’t get away right now”. Honestly, I wonder, how many men really eventually leave their wives for the other woman. How long do these second relationship last? I know men love the thrill of the chase but what happens when you’ve been caught – then what next??

I know when I type this – I often get back emails with statements like body no be wood, ah I am human – man must enjoy, sex and companionship is very important but seriously, there is nothing wrong with being single. Seriously! When you sit down and calculate the atalapipi of not knowing when this guy is coming to see you? Your inability to have access to him when you want? Not knowing where he lives (because hell no, will you be allowed to his neighborhood just in case this news gets back to his wife), and all the additional addendum – seriously, just get a hot water bottle, heater and a teddy bear and sleep with peace of mind. For real!!!

I often type about having standards and having your uncompromisable limits. I think more women need to have these. There really is no need to sell your self short because once you do, you open yourself to all kinds of rubbish that makes no sense. Trust me, things spoil, thrills die, adventures come to an end but then what next???

So I leave you with this thought: if you are the other woman, it is not too late, to cut that relationship short and call it a day. Start your new year the right way. If you are the wife, seriously consider if you want to remain in that relationship. I know that I should not say this but I really do not see the big deal in a divorce or separation (yes, all you women can find me and kill me). If you decide to stay, you have to forgive and ensure that you do not let the tape of your man’s infidelity keep playing in your mind. If you are the man – well what can I say? You are blessed! You have all these options! But, Karma is a bitch and when it bites, it bites so hard, you will be crying for Mama!

On that note: Happy New Year. Why do I believe that this year will be one of breakthroughs!