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I remember getting to work extremely early a couple of months ago and reading an article from a very infuriated wife that her husband wasn’t allowing her to take care of responsibilities in their home. Now, I am sure many of you are wondering what I am on about now. Let me start first by telling her story. Ms A grew up in a home, in which her mother took care of all responsibilities. She was the bread winner while her husband basically depended on her to bring home the cheddar. Ms A grew up thinking that this is the norm, that when she started dating, she always dated a particular type – in between jobs, unemployed, no future plans kind of men, until she fell in love with wonderful guy who grew up in a more traditional family setting in which Father took care of most of the financial responsibilities and that is where wahala (trouble) started. Ms. A’s husband thought it was very weird that his wife acted the way she did and he felt very disrespected because Ms. A will perform family financial responsibilities without discussing it with him. Now, many will think this is an anomaly while many men will probably be wishing that this could be their story but upon reading this story – I wondered is this story a common one particularly in this present period of recession. As usual it got me thinking and searching.
It is no secret that we are currently going through a recession but it seems that the industries that seem to be the most highly hit seem to be industries that are very male dominated, now with more men loosing their jobs as opposed to women – the question becomes what is the impact of this change in the family? It is a given that more women will be the bread winners and then what next? For some liberal men they do not see the big deal in such a switch but for many women even though they do not articulate their frustration, they detest being the bread winners. Some silently fume or find some ways of showing their frustrations. So men, if you find yourself in such a situation, quickly come up with ways to change the tides. Personally, I know many women who are currently in this situation and none is happy.
I will leave you with a story I heard a couple of years ago – a woman found herself the breadwinner in her house hold, her husband was unable to accept the fact that he now has a new role, now that his wife was the only one working. So basically the woman will leave early for work, get home late at night to see dirty dishes in the sink, the house extremely dirty, the toilet a mess and no food cooked. Each time, she will curse under her breathe and get to working. But one day, things got to a head and she got so angry that she started ranting and raving and threw him out of their home.
So I leave you with these questions:
A)is it okay for women to be bread winners?
B) If the tides turned and you found yourself in a situation such that the woman is the breadwinner will you be comfortable with it and women how will you feel about taking on that position?.
C) What is the impact of this switch in a relationship/marriage? Many men feel that when this occurs women stop respecting them – is that true?
Personally, I can never be comfortable in a home in which I am the breadwinner, after some time – my respect for my husband might start waning. So you tell me what you think?
Till next time,
Pammy
Pammy
All what I can say is there is no woman who is supposed to work for me whilst I am at home. Why? Am I disabled?
Even if I were disabled, I will never let a woman take care of me because a woman is like an uncle who paid for your school fees through secondary but at the same time molesting you. To women its human nature, they can’t handle success without abusing it. Even if you are working and she is earning more than you, you will be prone to abuse. Women were born with a belief that a man should take care of them even if they do not contribute much in his life. They have inborn parasitic tendencies, an organism that depends on another for the rest of its life without anything in return.
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Parks could not have said it any better!!
-Vakuru Chaivo-
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Parks, you hit the nail on the head. Having a woman working for you is a recipe for disaster.rather i go back kuden kwedu till i find a job. its their nature these parisites.
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Whatever. who cares? so long as you don’t grow too big for your pants!(don’t listen to me I’m not married)
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Pammy…it’s not quite a given that more women will become breadwinners…I think if you looked up the definition of a man (besides not being female) you would also discover that he is a provider & a protector. Now, the provider element is question at the moment…If he can’t provide for me (like ever!!) then I’d rather be on my own. I believe there should be some “Harambe” going on…he contributes…I contribute…I am his child’s mommy I cant be his mommy too!! Alternatively, he can take my money & lose my respect…but he cant have both…his choice…lol.
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There is an article at the Zimonline news site which makes an analysis of exact that problem from another viewpoint. The title is: Why are we so greedy.
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Hey Pammy if that is yo photo, you got a real African smile, I love it.
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It all depends on the situation you find yourself in.
If you are ill then let your woman do her best.
If you get made redundant then what ? let her help you.
Problems come in when people forget that a marriage is team work.
no one is more important than the other in a team.
You need a good striker (earner)
and a good deffender (budgeter, saver, and sensible shopper etc)
Wisdom is the key.
without this scenario you are doomed.
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Its a sad situation and that is not the will of God. If a man can not help financially he can lighten the burden for his woman but contributing in other ways while he picks himself up like showing her appreciation and letting her come home to a clean house and a meal.I know men are not ment to do this traditionally and wil not be perfect.Even his own mom wouldnt want to work feed and clean up after a old man while he feels sory for himself.Its team work rite..If he was the breadwinner he would like a clean house and hot meal when he gets home.same applies.husbands love ur wives,do unto others as ud have em do unto u.women are human too even if they are from pluto…..? or if it mars, woteva
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Ndizvozvo chaizvo Mada.
If you at home and your wife is working
CLEAN THAT HOUSE
PREPARE VERY GOOD FOOD
DO ALL THE CHORES SO THAT NO ONE IN THE TEAM FEELS LIKE THEY ARE PULLING THE OTHER.
THIS VERY SIMPLE THING IS VERY HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND.
MAKES YOU WONDER EH?
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